one more untouchable crazy

what do i love about biking? the rush of wind, sensory. being able to get myself
where i might need to go. its parts are numerous but it is sensible. i can take it
and work with it, try and figure out how it’s put together. someone created it, i
can take it apart. i can ask questions to understand it, i can share what i already
know. we can discover it together. with it i am faster than my body will carry me
without it. but it doesn’t move without my effort. wind & rain and various
temperatures, but the humyn animal can withstand some. its possibility of
configurations mean that it can become accessible to many needs.

oppressive systems detract from our abilities to satisfy our longings for freedom,
autonomous movement, and our right to know our surroundings as intimately as we do when biking. i process more sensations, and understand more about where i am, than in the forced isolation of various boxes.

i feel unapologetic, like i don’t owe an explanation, like it should be clear,
inherent in the weight of every day, why this is necessary.
that it requires illustration demonstrates the fundamental problem of various
constructions we live in. this social group requires us to be so completely
repressed in order to maintain it that any assertion of our right to connect with
one another is rapidly met with suspicion.

we come under attack through every part of our socialization. our worth is tied up in someone else’s needs and this extends to the point that we are physically victimized as a routine part of growing up, coming of age, and existing as an adult every day. this is in addition to the mental warfare that begins upon birth. not as tough, not as strong, not as able, not as good. when we refuse to submit to this belief that there is something wrong with us, any of us, that we ought to come under constant questioning just for existing, our refusal is met with further accusations of inferiority— we are too difficult, we are combative, we are crazy.

i like to bike because i can do it myself, i can do it with others, but ultimately because i am able to create my own wind, unhinged but present. because i can fully & unabashedly occupy my own space.

—-amets

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